Microsoft Fucks Over XP Users

Well, no surprise this time, but Microsoft has managed to fuck over a significant portion of the userbase for their Windows operating system. Three vulnerabilities in Windows Vista and Windows 2008 were fixed in a patch released by Microsoft on September 8th, but no such fix was provided for users of Windows XP or 2000.

While only two of the three holes affect XP and 2000 (and go to show just how much swiss cheese Vista really is), Microsoft has stated that they can't be fucked to plug the holes.

In a webcast release September 9th, which is probably edited to include 10% more lies, Microsoft insecurity program manager Adrian Stone, and his fellow ass pirate and program manager Jerry Bryant, stated that the code that they blatantly ripped off from BSD is around 15 years old, and that they were too lazy to bother fixing the code, thus users of Windows XP and 2000 were shit out of luck. (Webcast transcript here)

Microsoft's pitifully lame excuse as to why they weren't patching Windows XP was this: "By default, Windows XP SP2, Windows XP SP3 and Windows XP Professional x64 Edition SP2 do not have a listening service configured in the client firewall and are therefore not affected by this vulnerability," the bastards said. "Windows XP SP2 and later operating systems include a stateful host firewall that provides protection for computers against incoming traffic from the Internet or from neighboring network devices on a private network."

To make matters worse, Microsoft even tried to downplay the impact of their swiss cheese security. Their claim is that the attack would just cause a machine to stop responding because the network stack would suck RAM like there's no tomorrow, and that the attack would require that someone send specially crafted TCP packets (probably with a payload of Viagra spam) in a sustained mass flood, much akin to the the flood of shit that spews from Steve Ballmer's mouth every time it opens, and that the machine would return to normal once the attack stopped.

Ironically, Microsoft tried to pull the same shit back on 2003 in regards to Windows NT 4.0. They argued that they fucked up the code for Windows 2000 and later too badly for any fix to be backported to Windows NT 4.0.

How To Call Landlines With VoIP... And Not Pay For It

Update: 2009-11-13

Yesterday (2009-11-12), Google acquired Gizmo5. Downsides: The bit about configuring a Google Voice number below is no longer possible (this configuration part is completely gone), and more importantly, Google has closed Gizmo5 account sign-ups for now.

Read more at Google's Gizmo5 page at http://www.google.com/gizmo5/, and you can read the official Google Voice blog post at http://googlevoiceblog.blogspot.com/2009/11/google-welcomes-gizmo5.html.

Original blog post, unmodified, is as follows:

Well, I hate paying for phone service, as does everyone else. For the longest time, my only phone was a shitty TracFone, and for $20/month, I'd get a whopping 60 minutes of talk time.

How fucking impressive.

The worst part was that SMS is also expensive, costing 0.3 minutes of talk time per message sent or received, coming to about 3 minutes of talk time for every 10 messages in and out.

Until I found Google Voice.

Google Voice was originally something I used to replace the SMS on my phone, as you get unlimited and free SMS to any phone in the US and Canada. However, this did not solve the phone issue, as Google Voice requires a real phone to use the service.

Well, one day, I got bored, and decided to see if I could use my Gizmo SIP number with Google Voice. To my utter amazement, it works, and since then, I have had nothing but free, FREE, unlimited calling from and to any landline in the US and Canada, using a simple VoIP app.

You want to do this? You want to tell your phone company to take a hike?

Read this article.

There's one thing that's not mentioned in that article. Read that article before you continue below.

Read the article? Good. Now, you may notice that it says that to PLACE calls, you have to use the Google Voice web page, and have Google Voice call your Gizmo.

Not anymore. Gizmo5 now supports calling though Google Voice in the same free manner, directly from Gizmo5. You place a call from within Gizmo5 as if you had paid for Gizmo5 call-out credit.

But to do this, you need to change some account settings.

Login to your Gizmo account via the Gizmo website, and pull up your account settings.

There should be a new option there, labeled "Google Voice", and should look like this:

Click the "ON" radio button, type in your Google Voice number, and that's it! You no longer need to go to the Google Voice site to call out using Google Voice.

The idiocy of YouTube

When I saw this video, I fucking lul'd so hard.

This kid is retarded, and yet another example why sex education needs to emphasize on "not fucking your brothers and sisters" cause this kid is obviously the result of incest.

Death To Cloud Computing, And Why Gmail's IMAP Access Sucks

NOTE: I did not finish this post, I decided to post it as-is two months later.

First of all, let me start this off with a very clear message: FUCK CLOUD COMPUTING.

While, yes, I'll admit I really have no idea what this so-called "cloud computing" is, it sounds like a load of useless shit to me.

A good friend of mine pointed me at a cloud computing project called Eucalyptus (http://eucalyptus.com/), which is an open-source cloud computing implementation, which supports the Amazon S3 and EC2 APIs. They also have a public-access cloud setup for people to demo the software in action (presumably for users like me that lack the infrastructure to host my own cloud). So I go and setup a new account, download Amazon's EC2 API tools, and the X.509 certificates I need for the cloud.

OK, let do this thing... not so fast!

They give you an automagical shell script to setup your environment variables (aside from EC2_HOME; this is for the EC2 tools themselves, pointing the directory they are installed in, and this is an aesthetic choice, left for the user to decide when she installs). However, (and this is my fault for using Micro$hit WinDOS) the script is only of use to UNIX users, so you have to manually set your environment variables (although having the script on hand will prove useful). Now, I setup all the environment variables, following the UNIX shell script as a guide.

The shell script looks something like this:

EUCA_KEY_DIR=$(dirname $(readlink -f ${BASH_SOURCE}))

export S3_URL=http://128.111.45.118:8773/services/Walrus

export EC2_URL=http://128.111.45.118:8773/services/Eucalyptus

export EC2_PRIVATE_KEY=${EUCA_KEY_DIR}/euca2-segin-xxxxxxxx-pk.pem

export EC2_CERT=${EUCA_KEY_DIR}/euca2-segin-xxxxxxxx-cert.pem

export EUCALYPTUS_CERT=${EUCA_KEY_DIR}/cloud-cert.pem

export EC2_ACCESS_KEY='2UC-AbUnChOfRaNdOmNeSs-A'

export EC2_SECRET_KEY='SoMeMoRe_RaNdOmChArAcTeRs_FoRaCrYpToChAlLeNgE'

alias ec2-bundle-image="ec2-bundle-image --cert ${EC2_CERT} --privatekey ${EC2_P

RIVATE_KEY} --user 000XXXXXXXXX --ec2cert ${EUCALYPTUS_CERT}"

alias ec2-upload-bundle="ec2-upload-bundle -a ${EC2_ACCESS_KEY} -s ${EC2_SECRET_

KEY} --url ${S3_URL} --ec2cert ${EUCALYPTUS_CERT}"

Roughly translated into NT cmd.exe syntax, you get this (computing the top line by hand)

set EUCA_KEY_DIR=C:\Documents and Settings\Segin\.ec2

set S3_URL=http://128.111.45.118:8773/services/Walrus

set EC2_URL=http://128.111.45.118:8773/services/Eucalyptus

set EC2_PRIVATE_KEY=%EUCA_KEY_DIR%\euca2-segin-xxxxxxxx-pk.pem

set EC2_CERT=%EUCA_KEY_DIR%\euca2-segin-xxxxxxxx-cert.pm

set EUCALYPTUS_CERT=%EUCA_KEY_DIR%\cloud-cert.pem

set EC2_ACCESS_KEY=2UC-AbUnChOfRaNdOmNeSs-A

set EC2_SECRET_KEY=SoMeMoRe_RaNdOmChArAcTeRs_FoRaCrYpToChAlLeNgE

All right! So you should be set. Notice that in the above blocks, all cryptographic keys and IDs were removed, so if you try to copy and paste from the code abone, it will not work as-is. Fill in your own (real) details.

Now, let it be known that, yes, I did RTFM. I made sure I had both the Amazon and Eucalyptus documentation open in Chrome throughout the experience.

So, I finally get the the magical bit, where they tell me to me

Intel's Laptop Gaming SDK Sucks

Well, fuck me.

I have an Acer Aspire One, and I decide I want to play Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock on it. A quick search of Google tells me that, before I get started, I am going to need to use 3DAnalyze. It also reveals YouTube video of it working on this very laptop.

Well, fuck, it doesn't seem that hard. All I have to do is set "Emulate Hardware TnL", and set a VendorID and ProductID to that of a nVidia card (and the 3DAnalyse window gives some ID values for nVidia cards to use, making that non-trivial).

Sure, whatever, should work. It works for other people, should work for me. Do exactly what they do, it should work.

Right, nothing in life is ever that simple.

So I go start up 3DAnalyse, I set the options, and start the game. But, when you go to actually

But why? It's a pretty random crash, and there seems to be no documented cases of this bug. Worse off, most gamers that have computer expertise, that expertise is usually in hardware, and some basic Windows troubleshooting. Sadly, the only way I was even able to pinpoint the problem is because I know the inner workings of software.

I can start the game, get to the main menu, set settings, etc., but anything that tries to show shiny 3D graphics causes a crash in the Intel Laptop Gaming SDK DLL (IntelLaptopGaming.dll), which sucks ass. Particularly, go to Quickplay, select a difficulty (any will do), select a song (any will do), and wait on the "Loading" screen. When it's done loading, say "Hello, desktop!" as the game crashes and dies.

I have the GNU debugger setup as my system debugger. GDB shows that the crash happens in the Intel DLL, about 2-3 functions deep from GH3.exe. What is going on, I can't tell, due to the black-box nature of commercial software.

To date, I have no idea what's wrong.

If it matters, I am running Windows XP Home Edition, Service Pack 3.

Terminator: Salvation - The Game - Gameplay Video Trailer

Morality Subverted

I obviously have no idea how to title a blog post, but, whatever. I start here by typing away unimaginativly on my keyboard, listing to the like of Avenged Sevenfold and 30 Seconds To Mars. I feel pathetic, useless, and stupid. I look around me, there is a friend of mine, 20 or 21 or so, just opening and closing his clamshell mobile. There's a fat woman in the lounge chair that could be the cryptkeeper, and is utterly and totally blind to how the real world works (or rather, how it has worked since the 1980s). There is an old guy sitting next to me, in his mid 50s. These three people talk, nearly oblivious to my presence. On top of that, the woman is the mother of the 50-something man sitting next to me, and he is the father of my friend, who is sitting by the window.

I am bored. I want to leave, go somewhere, and shoot myself. My laptop's battery is almost dead, the TV is set to the TV Guide Channel, with an never-ending scrolling TV guide rolling along the bottom of the screen.

Friday Night Lock-In

This image is from a school event held Friday September 19, 2008.
My school's theater department held a little party in the school auditorium after school
where we sat around for 6 hours and played Rock Band (you see me there in the red striped polo shirt with the RB guitar controller). I have to say it, but I am addicted to this game as if it were crack cocaine. Yes, it is that addicting.

Note: However, they had me do the vocals to "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race". Please, pity me.

Frets on Fire and OpenGH...

I have recently had the itch to get an open-source Guitar Hero clone for the PC. However, as I had no Internet connection at the time, I had no idea that Frets on Fire existed, so I decided to create my own open source clone, called OpenGH. As it sits, OpenGH is a pre-alpha-non-working technical demo, however, the interface is there and such as displaying song info and getting joystick input all works. It is written in FreeBASIC and uses the built-in graphics library so that the Linux framebuffer is supported at no expense :)

Post unfinished, more to come...

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Elightenment for speed? Not really!

I have, in the past, used KDE 3.5 on a AMD K6-2 machine at 420MHz. The system has 256MB of RAM and was my DVR. It had an original ATI All-In-Wonder for video and TV, and a 20GB HD. KDE would start in less time with more features enabled than on most modern machines. This was usually around... 20 seconds.

It should be noted that I used NetBSD as my core OS, though I don't think that the difference should make a difference. If Linux is too slow or the GNU libc is too slow to facilitate starting KDE from "startx" to fully loaded in 20 seconds, then we got a serious problem.

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IRC Shannigans

<cirkit> lmao

<segin> lol i know

<segin> cirkit: did you get your dose /. today?

<cirkit> im drunk

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Where is your god now?

Burger King's stupidest marketing ploy yet: Video games featuring their main advertisement character -- the King.



The stupidity of such a marketing ploy is obvious. Burger King is desperate, and they seek to attack us from otherwise untouched marketing ground potential -- video games.

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Wal-Mart has crap for security.

I have successfully managed to steal 2 512MB USB 2.0 flash drives from the local Wal-Mart "superstore". The fuckers are generic as hell, though. Most flash drives come inm a completely-plastic package, while this was in a cardboard back with a plastic bubble package (think Hot Wheels cars in their package, except the car is a USB drive). It's identifiable with P/N:8PWM040001C-R00 on the reverse side.



These things has no manufacturer info save that a company mnamed "CRS" made the drive or it's controller. The only identifying string is "JET007 DISK 2.0 USB Device".



This thing is fucking cheap. I don't know why I even stole it, aside from I could use 512MB of storage apiece.

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Intresting Javascript snipplet

Copy and paste this bit of JavaScript directly into the Address/Navigation bar of your browser:

javascript:{var R=0, x1=.1, y1=.05, x2=.25, y2=.24, x3=1.6, y3=.24, x4=300, y4=200, x5=300, y5=200, I=document.getElementsByTagName("img"), L=I.length; setInterval(function (){for(var i=0; i-L; i++){var S=I[ i ].style; S.position='absolute'; S.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; S.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++},5); void(0)}

or click here to try it on this page.

It's best to try this in Opera 9.

Minature media player has crap for battery life

This cheap little 128MB mp3 player I got recently (comes with a FREE! cracked LCD screen) fails it at battery life. How much battery life do I usually get out of it? About 30 minutes (on cheap batteries, though), and even with shitty dry-cell batteries, that's damn low. Most batteries should provide about 8-12 hours of play time, and a nice rechargeable battery should approach 15 hours.

Although I haven't mentioned it, the mp3 player uses 1 AAA sized battery.

It supports failure. I can't store my /b/ folder on it, it got ate. Why? Dunno, maybe it WANTED to eat my /b/ folder.

Or maybe it was just FAPPING.

The Great Habbo Raid Video Series

So, I've been on YouTube looking for videos on the Habbo raids. I found a series of videos that just kicks ass, so I'll post them below.

The great Part 1:



Part 2:



Part 3:



Part 4 (final part):



Ship's Closed (omake):

War on Drugs? Try War of Stupidity!

The following is quoted verbatim from http://www.serendipity.li/wod.html

How long has there been a "War on Drugs"? Seems forever. (It was announced by Richard Nixon in 1971, but goes back millennia, as we saw above.) And year after year, it just gets crazier and crazier, ruins more and more lives, and drives the U.S. further into the pit of social disaster. How is it possible that this insanity persists (even though intelligent and rational people have been pointing out for many years how crazy and evil it is)? Read this page (and page two) for an understanding of what lies behind this monstrosity.

America, with less than 5 percent of the world population, has a quarter of the world's prisoners. There are six times as many Americans behind bars as are imprisoned in the 12 countries that make up the entire European Union, even though those countries have 100 million more citizens than the United States. Our jails and prisons have become the 51st state, with a greater combined population than Alaska, North Dakota and South Dakota. — Editorial, San Jose Mercury News, 1999-12-31.

In August [2000], the U.S. Department of Justice revealed that the number of men and women behind bars in the U.S. at the end of 1999 exceeded two million and the rate of incarceration had reached 690 inmates per 100,000 residents — a rate Human Rights Watch believed to be the highest in the world (with the exception of Rwanda). ... The unrelenting war on drugs continued to pull hundreds of thousands of drug offenders into the criminal justice system: 1,559,100 people were arrested on drug charges in 1998; approximately 450,000 drug offenders were confined in jails and prisons. According to the Department of Justice, 107,000 people were sent to state prison on drug charges in 1998, representing 30.8 percent of all new state admissions. Drug offenders constituted 57.8 percent of all federal inmates. — Human Rights Watch World Report 2001: United States

At this time the Gulag Archipelago, the scattered islands of prisons in which hundreds of thousands of non-violent people are locked away for half their lives for their opposition to the disgraceful and immoral policies of a tyrannical and dictatorial state, is not in Russia, rather it is in the United States of America. This is a crime against humanity by which the government of the United States, which trumpets itself as a defender of liberty and democracy, makes itself into an object of contempt in the eyes of the world.

MSN Conversations Part 1

[22:10:03] matman: probally its way too expensive for what it is but it are great coffee
[22:10:25] matman: the good thing is i didnt pay for it
[22:10:53] matman: and still some poor nigger kids in africa now are rich cause of it
...
[22:12:14] matman: i think i got better things to do then chat on them MSN
[22:12:20] matman: he gots lots of weed
[22:12:45] matman: hes dad is a real gipsy with a trailer and lots of weed
...
[22:39:54] matman: i once almost fell out of my window when i peed trough it when i was drunk
[22:40:05] matman: thats why i dont pee there anymore
[22:40:10] matman: id fall 20 meters
[22:40:31] matman: hm maybe only 15 or so
[22:40:38] matman: duno how high my house is
[22:40:53] Lord Segin the Hacker: more like 15 _feet_.
...
[22:46:05] Lord Segin the Hacker: so you pee on your kitchen roof?
[22:46:21] matman: no theres some thing to catch rain under it
[22:46:27] Lord Segin the Hacker: it's called a gutter.
...
[22:47:06] matman: and can be get out with a manual pump down here
[22:47:22] matman: so my pee can be reused if needed
...
[22:55:05] matman: i am smoking cigars that taste like coconuts and other stuff
[22:55:40] matman: i been smoking weird things today
[22:55:53] Lord Segin the Hacker: like what, some guys pole?
[22:56:01] Lord Segin the Hacker: just kidding
[22:56:27] matman: hops, aplle tobaco, spanish filter cigarettes, them coconut cigars
[22:56:40] Lord Segin the Hacker: you've been _smoking_ hops?
[22:56:46] Lord Segin the Hacker: How do you do that?!
[22:56:46] matman: yep
[22:57:36] matman: dry them egg shaped things on the plant, get teh yellow powder out and roll it in a joint
[22:57:55] matman: it makes you slightly high and euphoric for a short time
[22:58:10] matman: its quite subtle but realy nice
[22:59:21] matman: or you can cook them filter the stuff, vaporize all the water and smoke the sticky brown leftovers
[22:59:28] matman: but dunno if it really works
[22:59:57] matman: only did it once and i didnt feel really much but i was high and drunk already
...
[23:01:40] matman: i tend to use my kitchen as a drug lab
...
[23:07:02] matman: i use some device my mom uses for grinding herbs for teh food as a grinder for weed
[23:07:19] matman: thats one of them things why my mom gets stoned every now and then
[23:08:09] matman: my mom even got stoned from 2nd hand smoke once
[23:08:51] matman: i smoked for like 10euros of weed in my living room in one joint
[23:09:17] matman: and after a while my mom wondered why she got that dizzy
[23:10:00] matman: i puked that day
[23:10:29] matman: only one of my friends was smoking from it too
[23:11:24] matman: it was really strong weed bough here in belguim
[23:11:38] matman: so very probally other drugs where on it
[23:12:00] Lord Segin the Hacker: *coughcrackcough*
[23:12:03] matman: they always put things like crack or dmt on weed here to make it addictive
[23:12:26] matman: if i buy weed in holland its really different
[23:12:47] matman: from belgian weed i even started hallucinating
[23:13:25] matman: a girl i know once was brought to them hospital after smoking weed with speed on it
[23:14:36] Lord Segin the Hacker: hmm
[23:14:46] matman: she was on some scouting camp
[23:14:49] Lord Segin the Hacker: I once smoked so much weed that like I wasn't high no more.
[23:15:31] matman: i smoked that much weed once i was looking for the toilet in tristans house on the couch in my room
[23:15:40] matman: i really believed i was in his house
[23:16:24] matman: and somehow i suddenly remembered i was in my room
[23:16:32] matman: i tried to stand up
[23:16:32] Lord Segin the Hacker: and peed out the window?
[23:16:57] matman: nah i didt even have to pee it afterwards
[23:17:07] Lord Segin the Hacker: probably pissed yourself.
[23:17:12] matman: i stood up and the normal world faded back in
[23:17:19] matman: nah i didnt
[23:17:44] matman: i suddenly remembered i just smoked weed in my room
[23:18:04] matman: and took a good look around
[23:18:11] matman: and realized i still was there
[23:18:53] matman: when i smoked them 10euro of weed in one joint me and my friend started moving our legs
[23:18:57] matman: and couldnt stop
[23:19:03] matman: for like half an hour
[23:20:03] matman: until some girl dont remember who sat on them after i asked to help stop my legs
[23:21:25] matman: i once found white powder wich looked like little crystals in my weed after i smoked all normal stuff
[23:21:38] matman: and them powder made me stoned too
[23:21:47] matman: it really looked like coke or so
[23:22:13] matman: maybe just stuff from the weed too
[23:22:30] matman: like teh stuff sticking too the bags usually but lots
[23:22:44] matman: and more shiny and transparent
[23:23:07] matman: it could have been coke
[23:23:39] matman: them guy who sold me it sometimes uses coke so it wouldnt be weird
[23:24:30] matman: some stupid kid actually but i asked someone to buy for me and he didnt find his dealer
[23:25:59] matman: that kid lost them damn good expensive bike friends of me stole
[23:27:13] matman: he had just put it outdoors in the middle of the city
[23:28:01] matman: if hed sold it he could even got a few hundred dollars
...
[23:32:05] matman: my sister says damn weird things when you wake her up
[23:32:28] matman: she just said eaawie ie or so
[23:32:34] Lord Segin the Hacker: quote them to me
[23:32:51] Lord Segin the Hacker: what are her name?
[23:33:04] matman: once she said like but mom didnt you gave me relatin didnt you write that on the board
[23:33:07] matman: jana
[23:33:12] Lord Segin the Hacker: hmm...
[23:33:21] matman: she even never took relatin
[23:33:29] matman: i tried it once, and it are sucks
[23:33:34] Lord Segin the Hacker: go up to her and say "konichi wa, jana-neechan"
[23:34:02] Lord Segin the Hacker: but you gotta pronounce it right
[23:34:15] matman: konichi wa i can pronounce
[23:34:20] matman: but whats neechan means
[23:34:41] Lord Segin the Hacker: neechan : older (nee) girl; sister (chan)
[23:34:54] Lord Segin the Hacker: it's a ae sounds..
[23:34:58] Lord Segin the Hacker: like hay
[23:35:12] Lord Segin the Hacker: it prnounce same way as nay
[23:35:16] matman: she knows what konii tsei wa means btw
[23:35:21] matman: i think so tho
[23:35:35] Lord Segin the Hacker: you knowwhat it are mean, though?
[23:35:50] matman: something like hi or good day
[23:35:57] Lord Segin the Hacker: it is "hello" in japanese
[23:35:59] matman: and harikato i know too
[23:36:07] Lord Segin the Hacker: ?
[23:36:11] matman: its goeiedag translated to duch
[23:36:14] Lord Segin the Hacker: ahh
[23:36:17] matman: harikato is like thanks
[23:36:28] matman: goeiedag is different then just hello
[23:36:28] Lord Segin the Hacker: it's arigatou
[23:36:32] matman: but about the same
[23:36:43] Lord Segin the Hacker: romanization is kinda hard to preform
[23:37:14] matman: i write how its written in them japanese to dutch book i have
[23:37:17] matman: somewhere
[23:37:38] matman: i once had a japanes gf
[23:37:42] matman: longg ago
[23:37:46] Lord Segin the Hacker: it are written that way to help for pronounce
[23:37:50] matman: but she whent to japan
[23:38:04] matman: but i didnt really care
[23:38:13] matman: i didnt like having a gf back then
[23:38:18] matman: i was like 10 or so
[23:39:28] matman: now i got a pic of my gf hanging behind my pc here
[23:39:50] matman: she gonna be back in about 10 days
[23:40:01] matman: i gona open some bottle of damn good wine then
[23:40:02] Lord Segin the Hacker: gonna fuck her?
[23:40:08] matman: that too
[23:40:11] matman: of course
[23:40:12] Lord Segin the Hacker: gimmie pics ^^
[23:40:40] matman: hmm damn then i heve to look for pics again
[23:41:18] Lord Segin the Hacker: well, hmm get more when she come back
[23:41:56] matman: i think she was on some pics i sent you recently

Segin's "xdcc send pr0n" saga, ch 4.

So, out of sheer bordeom, I did another one.

[12:19:29] <segin> xdcc send pr0n
[12:19:29] <zolo> I'M NOT AN XDCC BOT FUCKER!!!
[12:19:30] <zolo> Im ignoring your dumb ass now.
[12:19:45] <segin> xdcc send pr0n plz

How to RTFM

RTFM is a common IRC and chat term which means "Read The Fine Manual", with varations on the meaning of the "F". (most commonly it means "Fucking").

RTFM'ing is not hard. I shall detail the steps you must preform below.

1. Locate the fucking manual.
2. Read the fucking manual.

If this task is too difficult for you, please ask someone to hold your hand while you re-attempt the task.